Ugh, now I’m in one of my moods where I feel the need to gush for an eternity about how damn much I love Morgan/Reid. What I said in that last post about Reid just knowing at the end of the day that Morgan loves him has me fixated on how powerful that must be for Reid. We know from eps like ‘Elephant’s Memory’ that high school life was hell for Reid, because of what popular jock types would do to him. He has trust issues in general and isn’t good at opening up to people, like he tells Morgan himself in ‘The Popular Kids’ (Oh, that episode <3 I die a little inside every time I hear the unsub call Reid Morgan’s ‘boy’). With women, Reid is at least used to feeling mothered and awwed and cooed over if nothing else, but between his father, those high school bullies, and in later seasons, Gideon and his abandonment, Reid specifically has trust/abandonment issues with men.

When he joined the BAU and came across Morgan, and saw someone who was a gorgeous, rough and tumble, kicking down doors, tackling the shit out of unsubs and such type of guy, who carried himself with a big man on campus attitude and was a jock once, all things that had to scream of high school hell for Reid, he must have been terrified Morgan was going to be a total dick to him and make his adult life just as miserable as his adolescence.

And instead what happens? Morgan adores Reid. He’s perfectly comfortable calling him things like ‘pretty boy’ and being more than a little physically affectionate with him, even in places like the middle of a crowded bar. And I feel like that’s a big deal to Reid, because looking at his childhood, I have a hard time believing he ever received very much physical affection, and then Morgan goes and gives it so freely, and Reid has no trouble accepting; moments like 52 Pickup, or the episode where Morgan messes with his hair because I can’t remember the title right now, Reid practically basks in it, actually. Morgan cares about things like drawing him out of his shell, encouraging him to have fun.

Instead of wanting to harm or humiliate him, he’s protective as hell of Reid; even as early as Derailed, Morgan pretty much loses his shit over Reid being placed in danger. It always pains me a little that when Morgan demands Reid show him how to do the trick, Reid seems to think Morgan is questioning his competence and thinks he’s not good enough to pull it off- he doesn’t really get that Morgan is just trying to protect him and would rather throw himself into danger than have to sit back and watch Reid do it. Morgan, IMO, is quite possibly the most upset about Reid’s kidnapping in Revelations. At the end, Prentiss and Morgan are the only ones who don’t hug Reid or touch him in some way. Why? Prentiss barely knows Reid at this point, but Morgan is normally so tactile with Reid, more than anybody else usually is, but at that moment, he doesn’t even come near him, but just stares at him with that incredibly pained look. I really believe it’s because Morgan feels so responsible for Reid that he thinks he failed him by allowing this to happen, that he’s ashamed of himself and doesn’t believe he deserves to hug Reid after letting such awful things happen to him by failing to protect him like he’s supposed to. And I wish Reid could see that, because for a boy who’s probably spent his entire life not feeling good enough, not good enough to do something as simple as pass his gun test on the first try, not good enough to have any friends going up, and especially not good enough for his dad or Gideon to stay for, what would it feel like to know someone like Derek Morgan, for whatever reason, has felt even for a moment like he didn’t deserve Spencer Reid?

Derek genuinely cares; he encourages Reid to open up to him as early as The Popular Kids, and makes it clear he wants to listen and understand and help, and does such a good job to conveying that to someone as wary as Reid that at least for the first 4 seasons, Reid pretty consistently turns to Morgan when he really needs someone to just hear him if nothing else, displaying an amazing level of trust.

And then comes Amplification, the holy grail of Morgan/Reid moments for me, and oh my God, I can’t even. Morgan knows something is clearly wrong and he could be putting himself in danger, but he doesn’t even care, doesn’t stop to weigh the situation like an FBI agent should, just throws himself at that door because something is wrong with Reid, and that comes first, and he displays his love for Reid so clearly in that moment, in my opinion. And Reid essentially races to lock himself into his own death chamber, because at least he can protect Morgan for once this way, and at the moment when as far as Reid knows, his life is over, he’s able to believe in someone’s feelings for him, Morgan’s, and he doesn’t question it, he knows it’s there and a big enough deal that this is going to crush Morgan, and he does the only thing he can at that moment, apologizes for it, and Morgan looks heartbroken, and oh good lord my heart. And the way Morgan proceeds to put Reid first that day, wanting Hotch to get him out of there even though Reid’s already infected and the best thing for the case is for him to stay and research? Phenomenal. Makes me wish a little bit Reid wasn’t quite so logical all the time, and instead of thinking about how that didn’t make sense and was a pointless suggestion, he really could have just taken in that someone cared more about his safety than solving a case that could have meant the safety of the entire country. And the way Reid is pushed on to keep going by Morgan telling him that the Reid he knows wouldn’t give up? MY CREYS, you guys don’t even know.

And the fact that at the end of the episode, Morgan is the reason Reid wakes up to a relieved, warm and happy smiling face instead of a cold empty hospital room, says it all. I really believe his relationship with Morgan vastly changed Reid’s life for the better (Morgan’s too, of course, but that’ll have to be it’s own post someday), and it’s why I find their relationship so insanely beautiful and moving and love it so much <3<3<3<3<3